Uncomfortably Numb

This poem is about lack of feelings and a future renewal. It was written using couplets and iambic tetrameter.

My heart leaps up when I behold
A rainbow in the sky;
So was it when life began;
So is it now I’m a man;
So be it when I shall grow old,
Or let me die!
—William Wordsworth

When I was just a little child,
My feelings came so raw and wild;
Though sometimes gripped by midnight fear,
A gleam of hope was always near;
Sensations touched my heart and mind,
Old feelings that I cannot find;
For now my mind does not receive
The depth of joy I would perceive.

So what has come to steal my joy,
The hope I felt when just a boy?
Am I just jaded by the years,
Or weary from suppressing fears?
Or is it failure all around
That drags my dreams into the ground?

Somewhere I read this world has naught,
Some gold for fools is all we’ve got;
Illusions come, but do not sate,
Possessions have no final weight;
The things we work so hard to earn,
Descendants will just trash or burn.

Perhaps this numbness is for good,
Though I do not feel like I would;
Perhaps if I could feel the pain,
As I once felt in heart and brain,
Then I could not endure the shock—
My mind would freeze, my senses block.

Perhaps some children under ten
Do not remember what has been;
They have not felt the highs and lows
That come to us when passion grows;
They only feel what robots can,
They know not what belonged to Man.

Let us revive and be reborn!
Let us awaken fresh one morn,
Let us arise and feel again,
More feelings than we felt back then!

Let all our minds be purified,
Let no dark thoughts of sin abide,
Let all around be fresh and new,
Let rainbows rise amid the dew.

Until this happens, we must wait,
Be patient for our future fate;
Though leaves are gone, and roots are dry,
The spring will come, our hope won’t die!

(written 2019)

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